What do Brits complain about when they’re on holiday in Spain?  Here are some classic ridiculous complaints made by Brits.

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British people really love to complain don’t they? I mean, they’ve got plenty to complain about, what with the weather and the government and work and the taxman and the price of everything. But there’s nothing quite like the complaints that some Brits make when they’ve been on holiday. 

Stick around and you’ll see the biggest compilation of ridiculous complaints ever seen in one place! In the whole world. Probably.

In case you’re wondering, I was born in Great Britain. Fortunately I managed to throw off the shackles of Britain and become Irish, so I’m now doubly able and qualified to rip them a new one.

Some Brits seem to have been born with something missing. Let’s call it a brain. Here are the real examples of complaints made by Brits about their holidays. We’ll start with the ones about Spain shall we?

1/ It’s lazy of the shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time – this should be banned

2/  They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.

3/ Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.

4/ I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure didn’t say mosquitos!

5/ The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room. It was everywhere. It was all in my bits.

6/ We found the sand was not like the sand in your brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was yellow. 

7/  We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers. They were all Spanish. They kept taking us to the wrong place.

8/ I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.

9/ We booked an excursion to a water park but no one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price. We got very wet.

10/ The brochure stated ‘No hairdressers at the resort’. We’re all trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and they made us wait longer for service. I saw the way they looked at us.

11/ When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us there’d be so many bleedin’ foreigners.

12/ We had to line up in the hot sunshine to catch a boat. There was no air conditioning. 

13/ I was bitten by a mosquito. No one said they could bite.

14/ The hotel put a ‘Do not disturb’ sign on the back of my door. I was stuck in my room for 3 days. I thought it meant I couldn’t go in the corridor.

15/ The food was so awful I had to have an enema. And you can’t even say enema in Spanish.

16/ It was windy on the beach and the sand went in my eyes. That wasn’t in the brochure.

17/ No one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were terrified.

18/ The roads were uneven and bumpy so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.

19/ I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom suite and ours was significantly smaller.

20/ It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.

21/ Someone told me before we went to Spain there’d be nudists walking through the streets. I never saw any.

22/ My fiancee and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a King-sized bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be reimbursed. My wife got pregnant. This would not have happened if you’d put us in the room we booked.

Are you enjoying it so far? We haven’t finished yet, because it’s not only Spanish holidays that Brits complain about, here are loads more about other places too. Tell me in the comments below which one is your favourite and whether you have any stories about crazy complaints. 

Let’s continue!

23/ On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food!

24/ It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to fly home. This seems completely unfair.

25/ We bought RayBan sunglasses for five Euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake. Someone should tell people about these people.

26/ The ice in my glass melted too quickly. I demand a refund!

27/ My husband drank the local beer and ended up violently drunk. They must put something in the alcohol here.

28/ The weather at home was really nice while we were away, so the whole holiday seemed a bit pointless. 

29/ Our room in the hotel was just sixteen degrees centigrade. As an evidence, I am sending you a photo of the thermometer reading twenty degrees centigrade.

30/ Nobody told us the sand would be hot. It was almost impossible to walk on. They were people in the brochure walking on sand. 

31/ There were no shells on the beach! I demand shells.

32/ I only got two rolls of toilet paper per day. It’s a disgrace.

33/ There was no English food at our hotel, we had to eat at the Chinese restaurant across the street. Every night.

34/ I’m sure I stayed in this hotel room in a previous life. I cannot stay here again.

35/ The soup was too thick and strong. It tasted like gravy.

(Ed -It was gravy.)

36/ The water in the Gulf of Mexico was too salty. No one told us there was going to be salt in the water. It was gross.

37/ We went to Australia for Christmas and it was hot. And there was no snow. That’s not Christmas. I want a refund.

38/ The food was so cheap that by the time we got home I’d put on three stone. You’ve cost me a bleeding fortune in new clothes.

39/ The restaurant said ‘children eat free’ but they kept charging my 19 year old daughter.

40/ There was no sign on the hot air balloon ride to tell you not to go on if you’re afraid of heights. I was terrified.

41/ We went on a canoe trip but we were very very disappointed that no one told us there would not be a bathroom on board. It was very inconvenient.

42/ Why were there no kangaroos hopping about in Sydney city? I am most disappointed.

43/ Spotting the visibly aroused elephant ruined my honeymoon. I felt so inadequate. My wife ran off with the elephant!

44/ You said the town was next to a volcano, but we went and there was no lava. I’m pretty sure it was just a mountain!

45/ My husband got carsick on the boat. And seasick in the car. He’s still not very well now.

46/ The street signs was in foreign. I don’t understand how anyone can get around.

47/ The animals at the zoo looked very sad and it made our children cry. Can’t they train them to smile?

48/ I packed for a mountaineering holiday and I could not believe no one told me there would be no snow. I had to buy new clothes. Every day.

49/ We booked the honeymoon suite, and in the WC there were two toilets side by side. With no walls separating them! There is nothing at all romantic about that!

50/ Foreigners! Foreigners! Everywhere! The place was crawling with them. They were under the bed and everything. Sorry, I mean cockroaches! Cockroachesssssss!

Okay, I may have made that last one up. And maybe added a few bits here and there for a bit of fun, but they’re mostly absolutely genuine complaints.

See you in the next blog.

Peace & Love. Let’s Dance!

Article by Skatz